Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
