Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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