I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
