my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
only if we run a train.
done.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
