Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
