If i come over, it means nothing
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
