Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Please, let me fuck your mom
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
