thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
