he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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