I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
