at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
