you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
