Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
be right there i have to get my cape
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
