i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You made out with two different species that night
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Randomize