Whoa Z and x make the same sound
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I have post one night stand depression
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
