The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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