he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
