no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
