Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
