i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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