dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
The struggles of a small town man whore
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