we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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