Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
