you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
