Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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