She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
