He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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