butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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