You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
