we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize