This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
