come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
