Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize