Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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