we made out on top of his cat.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
God, I missed his penis.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
