Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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