Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
