This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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