Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
