dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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