great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
