My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
