Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
