I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
