Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
