Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
