We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
