i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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