I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
