Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize