I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
