im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize