I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
