you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
