Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
zippers are such a cool invention
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
