3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize