i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
