I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
