Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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