I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
