The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
