I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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