Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
