escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
my sisters under your porch take her home
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
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