sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
