i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
there is glitter all over my balls
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize