Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
